Pig in the mud..

This past weekend some of the best friends I have ever had and ever dreamed of having came into town.. One from Nashville, another who just moved to Missouri, and another who just got back from 8 1/2 months in South America… Time with these girls was what my heart needed for a long time.. I really didn’t understand how much I needed them in my life until they are gone.. I’ve had a hard time these last few days processing through what it means to be spiritually alive.. Thriving and enjoying the life that God has called me to.. Honestly I’m just plain ungrateful.. But it’s because I haven’t been putting my hope in the Lord.. It’s been in other people, situations, and places.. I’ve really grown to love that my husband pulls this out of me. I’ve had this mentality for some time that “no one understands me” and if you try to you’ll just get it wrong and you probably need to call RB for clarity… But he’s digging deep and understanding more and more.. And calls things for what they are.. And sometimes.. It’s plain ugly… Which brings me to realizing my heart and my constant need for Jesus…something I’ve laid down on the path and haven’t returned to yet.. Paul said something to me yesterday that really hit home.. He said “Rachel.. I’m gonna die someday…probably before you, looking at the heart health of all the men in my family…lets not waste it anymore..” now where there’s no exact proof for that, the Lord does say that our lives are mere handbreaths.. He also says life is but a vapor.. So I’ve made the decision not to waste my life anymore.. Being mad, or bitter.. Or just plain ruthless..
My encouragement is to be obedient to the Lord.. I read this verse this morning that I’ll leave you with..
My prayer I that your response isn’t like mine..”dang.. He’s talking about me…” Psalm 32:8 says “the Lord says, I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”
Let your joy be full.. Because life is a vapor..
Psalm 39:4-5 4 “Show me, O LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. 5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath.