i find myself lost in a song and forget it's only a song, and that im lost in thought, fully believing that the days of evil are behind me, when the song ends im left with this wretched world. disconnected and broken, and my heart breaks again. im left with impatience and a soul that's quick to anger.
i remember the wedding. and how i wished it was over. i say this because i feel that for many months our focus has been "the wedding" when in the end, we're just two people, that have souls, that desire to be loved, the raw issue here is that we have put so much emphasis on "the wedding" that no one has focused on the reason for the wedding. no one. my desire is not to be caught up in the color of the candelabras, the venues, and the wedding cake. but to be caught up in the reason itself. to be tangled in his arms. to have conversations containing words that matter, words that aren't about the event. but that has to do with us.
it will consume you until that day, wrapping its tentacles around you and squeezing life out, until you're broken. and tired. dead tired.
with my bible study we're going through the book "sex god" tonight's chapter that we went over was about marriage, essentially. under the chuppah was the title. a chuppah, in layman's terms, is a sheet of fabric fastened to four poles at each corner. in traditional jewish wedding ceremony's this sheet was like God's presence hovering over and protecting the marriage covenant made by the two people under it.
A marriage is a sacred, holy thing-
in the ancient world, the signing of the marriage license and exchanging of vows still didn't mean that the couple were officially married. a physical union still had to take place. so all the guests would follow the couple to the honey moon suite and the couple would consummate their relationship, with all the guests right outside the door.
after this they were officially married, and a reception would take place.
a bit different now. and i am thankful.
so what goes on under the chuppah?
it's powerful, it's sacred, it's holy. it has to be respected at all costs.
a marriage is between those two people, not us. It's not ours, it's theirs.
out of six billion people on the planet, i chose you. and no one else. no one else gets me like you, in this specific, holy, sacred, emotional, confidential, spiritual, physical way.
a wedding really is a beautiful thing. take away the flowers, the wedding party, everything. and you are still left with a groom waiting on his bride, much like God and his people coming together. He is waiting on us to walk down that isle to him. in the coming days, i will walk down the isle to join with my creator and we will be together forever.
but the music: i go back to the music in my surreal world....
If you could read my mind
you'd say baby you were right
and i dont want to fight anymore.
you're usually righter than i am
and i am not a very good fighter.
and my, well neither are you.
so lets be through with this one.
some things never change.
i know you are still my same girl.
built two room frames for pictures that you paint.
Lots in Monterrey, men across the bay, right back to my same girl.
how can you be so calm.
the truth is that sometimes you live in the eye of the storm.
with everything going on around us.
i feel comfort in the sound when you say it will be okay.
like a star brighten me to the light of the day.
old drums can follow me but not with my same girl.
i built two room frames for the pictures that you paint,
the lots in monterey, and then across the bay, right back to my same girl
peace and love always.
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